I think we need to stage an intervention, or at least monitor who Rosie the robotic vacuum cleaner makes friends with. She has suddenly started getting up to clean at 2.30am for no reason. I suspect drugs and I suspect Duck Norris is dealing them. I had to get up in the middle of the night, calm Rosie down and put her back on her docking station. I questioned her as to what was going on, but she sat in stubborn silence and wouldn’t give anyone up. This morning I questioned Norris who said he’d never even met Rosie and he doesn’t deal drugs, he’s much too busy for that sort of thing. I saw some of the other ducks muttering, looking at the ground and shuffling their feet. I think, if I try, I can probably get one of them to quack on him.