I like when things happen to other people, instead of just me. Especially when it’s family, because then I can blame the level of ridiculous life experiences on GENETICS.
My parents neighbour has gone away on holidays. They found out from another person that she was concerned her because she hadn’t seen her dog come outside on her CCTV cameras since she’d been gone. She has a very fluffy, white dog.
It was no problem though, because my dad was immediately on the case. See, he’d seen another neighbour talking to a bunch of people in a van the day before. A bunch of people who were all passing around a fluffy white dog! They had stolen the dog. He was certain of it. So he marched over to the house and asked the lady about her friends with the dog. The lovely neighbour told him the friends had been there, but there was no dog. Not to be deterred by this obvious lie, my dad continued to tell her they definitely had a dog matching the description of the other neighbours missing dog. He had solved the case and now all he needed to do was get the dog back to its rightful owner. He was going to be a hero. The neighbour asked whether he could have mistaken her young daughter for the white fluffy dog. Incredulous, dad told her that he was pretty sure he could distinguish between her daughter and a dog. He did have his glasses on after all. The lady said she would check it out with her friends and get back to him.
Dad returned home to wait – satisfied that he had gotten to the bottom of this terrible crime.
A while later, as it was getting on in the afternoon and getting a little chilly, the neighbour came around to report she’d spoken to her friends and they definitely hadn’t seen a fluffy white dog. Holding her hand was her small daughter….in a very fluffy, white jacket…